Writings from Christine

Questions You Should Know the Answer to Before Walking Down the Aisle

by Christine Hammond on March 28, 2013

Before you walk down the aisle and make a commitment to your spouse, spend some time asking and answering these questions.  While there is no guarantee that your marriage will survive the 50% divorce ratio, knowing your spouse’s perception on a few life issues can go a long way in identifying potential problem areas in your marriage.

Background Questions:

1. What kind of childhood did you have?
2. Who was your best friend and why?
3. What did you dream about as a child?
4. Who do you want to please? Whose opinion counts?
5. How did you spend your time as a child?
6. When do you say, “If only…”? What are your regrets?

Life Questions:

1. What do you want in life?
2. What are you passionate about?  What drives you?  What do you crave?
3. What makes you tick? What really matters to you?
4. What do you hope will last in your life? What can’t you live without?
5. What do you pray for?
6. What beliefs do you hold about life, God, yourself, others?

Goal Questions:

1. Where do you hope for? What are you working towards?
2. What are your expectations and goals? What are you working for?
3. What are you trying to accomplish?
4. Who are your role models? Who are the people you respect?
5. How do you define success or failure in any particular situation? What makes you feel rich?
6. How do you spend your time? What are your priorities?

Emotion Questions:

1. What do you fear? If fear is the flip side of desire then when I desire your acceptance I also fear your rejection.
2. What gets you angry?
3. Where do you find refuge, safety and comfort? How do you escape when things get rough
4. What do you see as your rights? What do you feel entitled to?
5. What are your fantasies? What do you daydream about?
6. What instinctively feels right to you?

Future Spouse Questions:

1. What do you need from a spouse?
2. Who do you trust?
3. Does your performance matter to you? If so, how?  What about your spouse’s performance?
4. What would bring you the greatest pleasure and the greatest distress?
5. What do you talk about? What subjects do you tend to discuss with your friends?
6. How do you envision your marriage?  How will you spend your time?

Posted under: Engagement Writings from Christine