Being the victim of a narcissistic smear attack is not fun. Rather, it is an intense campaign designed to humiliate an opponent while simultaneously elevating the narcissist. It requires quite a bit of skill, manipulation, and persistence to successfully pull one-off. But for the victim, it can be a shocking and damaging experience. In an… (more…)
The short answer is yes. While this might seem like a strange concept, those who have been victims understand it all too well. An acquaintance starts sending excessive messages, magically showing up unexpectedly, asks too intimate or probing questions, gives inappropriate gifts, and seems to immerse themselves into environments or other friendships just to stay… (more…)
Not everyone who comes into counseling truly wants to get better. Some are present because a relationship, an employer, or the legal system mandates it. Unfortunately for the therapist, this is not always transparent initially. Or is it? In Galvin De Becker’s book The Gift of Fear, he identifies patterns of behavior that can be… (more…)
The media loves to cover narcissists almost as much as a narcissist loves to be covered by the media. And why not? The narcissist’s stories are colorful, prone to exaggeration, intentionally divisive, and feature them as the star. It is easy reporting because it is naturally interesting, requires limited verification, and is emotionally charging. A… (more…)
Typically Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is viewed as a female disorder but it is not. Just like their female counterparts, males also have an intense and persistent fear of abandonment that permeants nearly every relationship. It could manifest in a marital or partner relationship, a father to a child relationship, or an employer to an… (more…)
A client walked into my office for the first time and began to describe her husband as a narcissist. They had been married for 15 years, had two children, were well-established in the community, and were both very career-oriented. She came across an article about narcissism and concluded that her husband fit the profile. Not… (more…)
It’s shocking. After 25 years of marriage, a couple decides to get a divorce. From the outside looking in, things could not be any stranger. The pressures of establishing a career have subsided, the kids have grown up (and hopefully moved out), and the desired lifestyle has been obtained. After all, surely this couple has… (more…)
It’s easy to identify bullying, intimidation, physical restraint, or molestation as abusive. But what about other, more subtle forms of abuse that seem on the surface to be kind and generous, they are not. Think of it as a mask of deception used to control, manipulate, and eventually abuse. To the outside world, the mask… (more…)
The angry outburst of a narcissist is like a two-year-old temper tantrum. It appears out of nowhere, creates an unnecessary scene, and shocks others into inaction. It is the ultimate in selfish behavior as everything immediately becomes about them and what they want. Just like a child, a narcissist cannot tell the difference between what… (more…)
How much different would life be if that exhausting person wasn’t a constant source of frustration? Whether the person is a family member, colleague, neighbor, or friend, just being around them can spark anxiety over the pending apprehension. Exhaustion can come from being too needy, controlling, manipulative, demanding, passive-aggressive, selfish, entitled, clingy, argumentative, restrictive, secretive,… (more…)
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