Cupid arrows, chocolate covered cherries, cute stuffed animals, huge balloons, and red flowers have blossomed all over the stores. There is hardly a store (including gas stations) that has not been inundated with Valentine’s Day paraphernalia. But this does not represent true love. This is romantic fantasy love which is highly elusive. Unfortunately many people… (more…)
Typically Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is viewed as a female disorder but it is not. Just like their female counterparts, males also have an intense and persistent fear of abandonment that permeants nearly every relationship. It could manifest in a marital or partner relationship, a father to a child relationship, or an employer to an… (more…)
Depression has its own signs and symptoms but when mixed with a personality disorder (PD) it can be more elusive. Each PD has a different manifestation of depression with varying levels of intensity. While not all depression becomes homicidal or suicidal, the risks for this possibility are presented as a word of caution. The following… (more…)
Dysfunctional behavior applies to everyone. It’s not just the narcissist who is flawed in their perception and responses. The people around them frequently utilize maladjusted coping mechanisms (or defense mechanisms) in an attempt to handle the toxic situation or manage the narcissism. Here are some real life examples: An employee realizes their boss is a… (more…)
One minute everything seems fine, even happy, and then in an instant things turn. The joyful mood is quickly replaced by hurt, dramatic expression, and anger over what appears to be a small matter. After that, things escalate rapidly as accusations fly, feelings intensify, threats heighten, and absolutes accelerate. For those experiencing this for the… (more…)
A client walked into my office for the first time and began to describe her husband as a narcissist. They had been married for 15 years, had two children, were well-established in the community, and were both very career-oriented. She came across an article about narcissism and concluded that her husband fit the profile. Not… (more…)
It’s shocking. After 25 years of marriage, a couple decides to get a divorce. From the outside looking in, things could not be any stranger. The pressures of establishing a career have subsided, the kids have grown up (and hopefully moved out), and the desired lifestyle has been obtained. After all, surely this couple has… (more…)
Despite what a narcissist will pontificate, even they are subject to the effects of getting older. Becoming elderly is a normal part of the developmental stage of life for most people, but not for the narcissistic. They view aging as an ultimate evil. Some will engage in ridiculous plastic surgery in an effort to look… (more…)
Try to point out a narcissist’s mistakes and the attack is likely to be returned with force. Expect a narcissist to show understanding during a difficult time and the conversation will quickly be turned back towards the narcissist. Ask a narcissist to forgive an error in judgement and a detailed accounting of all blunders will… (more…)
It’s easy to identify bullying, intimidation, physical restraint, or molestation as abusive. But what about other, more subtle forms of abuse that seem on the surface to be kind and generous, they are not. Think of it as a mask of deception used to control, manipulate, and eventually abuse. To the outside world, the mask… (more…)
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