It all begins with a group of people. This group is very tight such as found in could be a gang, work environment, cult, religious organization, political party, sorority/fraternity, or really any organized group or close family unit. There is a leader, usually set at a higher level than its members, and some type of… (more…)
At 72 years old, Susan came into therapy for the first time at the insistence of her daughter. For nearly a decade, Susan’s son had been living with her and living off her limited social security income. Her son was capable of getting a job but had difficulty maintaining employment. After a visit to Susan’s… (more…)
A bruise is not a requirement for proof of abusive behavior. There are many other ways a person can be abused. Abuse can be manipulation, exploitation, maltreatment, neglect, violence, cruelty, harm, hurt, ill-treatment, and exploitive. The seven ways it is manifested are physical, mental, verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and spiritual. The following list is not… (more…)
One of the many consequences of abusive behavior is a change in the victim’s thinking patterns. After years of badgering, the victim finally adopts the abuser’s distorted reasoning. In many cases, the victim does not become an abuser. Rather, as they attempt to minimize further abuse, their survivor instincts take over in anticipation of the… (more…)
The 1800’s nursery rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is not true for most people. Some people do have the natural ability to emotionally disconnect when being insulted. (They usually struggle with being emotionally engaged in pleasant circumstances as well.) For everyone else, words have meaning and… (more…)
Ever wondered what abuse sounds like? What do abusers say to their victims to get them to acquiesce? Some of the statements listed below might even sound acceptable in certain environments, but they are not. Abusive behavior is pervasive and without awareness, it will continue. There are seven major types of abuse. Physical abuse is… (more…)
Some abuse is obvious: a punch to the face, name-calling, guilt-tripping, physical isolation, and neglect. But others are done in a more calculated, secretive manner. Yet, they can be just as damaging. Even more significant is when the abuse is conducted within a coordinated group setting. This causes the target to feel like it is… (more…)
The mistrial of the sexual assault case against Bill Cosby has reignited old stereotypes about rape and abuse. Some new acquaintances of mine, who were unaware of my vocation, commented their satisfaction of the outcome siting several reasons. Rather than argue my position, I chose to listen to a barrage of ignorance and blame casing…. (more…)
Abuse has a pattern similar to addiction. Once the abuser has utilized an abusive method for a long period of time, the victim develops a tolerance to the abuse so it no longer has the same effect. This aggravates the abuser who then escalates. It should be noted that there are seven primary ways a… (more…)
Hands down, the number one question I get asked in therapy is “Why would they do this?” Mostly, this stems from a person who has been abused and is trying desperately to understand why their attacker is abusive. There are seven forms of abuse: verbal, mental, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and spiritual. After a person… (more…)
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