One of the many consequences of abusive behavior is a change in the victim’s thinking patterns. After years of badgering, the victim finally adopts the abuser’s distorted reasoning. In many cases, the victim does not become an abuser. Rather, as they attempt to minimize further abuse, their survivor instincts take over in anticipation of the… (more…)
It wasn’t until college that Susan realized the level of dysfunction in her family. There were signs earlier in her life but the pieces were never put together until she stumbled on the word narcissism. Then, it was as if a dense fog was lifted and everything became clearer. Everything the family did catered around… (more…)
The mistrial of the sexual assault case against Bill Cosby has reignited old stereotypes about rape and abuse. Some new acquaintances of mine, who were unaware of my vocation, commented their satisfaction of the outcome siting several reasons. Rather than argue my position, I chose to listen to a barrage of ignorance and blame casing…. (more…)
It is generally accepted that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Following a death, these stages can be done consecutively or in a mixed order. There is no proper way to manage grief other than to go through the entire process and not stay stuck in denial. However, when… (more…)
Movies love to portray the inner and outer conflict that arises from being blackmailed, especially when someone’s life hangs in the balance. There is the villain (the blackmailer), the victim (the target), a demand (what is being asked for), and a threat (what negative thing will happen if the victim refuses to comply). But blackmail… (more…)
Significant trauma can cause PTSD, anxiety, grief, and depression at any age. But it can also have lasting effects even after a person has recovered. A childhood tragedy might lie dormant for many years until triggered by a similar event, person, or reaction. Teenage disasters might cripple the growth of budding adults leaving them perpetually… (more…)
Not everyone grieves in the same way. People have different physical appearances, perspectives, experiences, thoughts, emotions, backgrounds, relationships, and attitudes. So when it comes to grieving, there are many healthy forms with the exception of one: not grieving. Embracing grief is a willingness to accept the fluctuating emotions, random thoughts, internal struggles, constant questions, and… (more…)
A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others. This method of casting shame allows them to feel superior while minimizing any impact the other person might… (more…)
The conversation with your narcissistic spouse starts with good intentions over some issue needing to be addressed. Knowing the propensity of overreaction, you gently proceed. At first, your spouse takes everything in stride so you relax. You let your guard down. Then it happens. An insignificant comment (not the main point) suddenly ignites a firestorm…. (more…)
Admittedly there are times when you should feel guilty. For instance, if you cause harm to another person, take something that does not belong to you, or lie about something to get your own way, you should feel guilty because you have done wrong. But this is not the guilt that plagues you, that guilt… (more…)
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