Tag Archives: guilt

Distorted Thinking Patterns Victims Adopt from Their Abuser

by on October 12, 2017

One of the many consequences of abusive behavior is a change in the victim’s thinking patterns. After years of badgering, the victim finally adopts the abuser’s distorted reasoning. In many cases, the victim does not become an abuser. Rather, as they attempt to minimize further abuse, their survivor instincts take over in anticipation of the… (more…)

How Obsessive Thoughts and Guilty Feelings Feed Exhaustion

by on October 12, 2017

Have you ever wondered how exhaustion becomes so pervasive and infects nearly every aspect of life? Just like the flu bug, it takes over with an unyielding vengeance, putting the most productive people out of commission. There are two main ingredients that constantly fuel exhaustion: obsessive thinking and guilty feelings. This concept is borrowed from… (more…)

The Dysfunctional Ways a Family Protects a Narcissist

by on July 20, 2017

It wasn’t until college that Susan realized the level of dysfunction in her family. There were signs earlier in her life but the pieces were never put together until she stumbled on the word narcissism. Then, it was as if a dense fog was lifted and everything became clearer. Everything the family did catered around… (more…)

The Repeated Abuse of Sexual Assault Victims

by on June 23, 2017

The mistrial of the sexual assault case against Bill Cosby has reignited old stereotypes about rape and abuse. Some new acquaintances of mine, who were unaware of my vocation, commented their satisfaction of the outcome siting several reasons. Rather than argue my position, I chose to listen to a barrage of ignorance and blame casing…. (more…)

10 Warning Signs a Relationship Is Going Sour

by on March 15, 2017

Hindsight is a 20/20 vision when it comes to the fall of a relationship. What was once overlooked, minimized, explained away, or discounted now becomes an obvious sign of a deteriorating relationship. At first, they seemed so charming, helpful, generous, innocent, and gentle but then things turned and an entirely different picture became apparent. Charming… (more…)

The Act of Suicide Adds to the Grieving Process

by on December 13, 2016

It is generally accepted that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Following a death, these stages can be done consecutively or in a mixed order. There is no proper way to manage grief other than to go through the entire process and not stay stuck in denial. However, when… (more…)

What Is Emotional Blackmail?

by on August 10, 2016

Movies love to portray the inner and outer conflict that arises from being blackmailed, especially when someone’s life hangs in the balance. There is the villain (the blackmailer), the victim (the target), a demand (what is being asked for), and a threat (what negative thing will happen if the victim refuses to comply). But blackmail… (more…)

Understanding the Impact of Trauma at Any Age

by on June 30, 2016

Significant trauma can cause PTSD, anxiety, grief, and depression at any age. But it can also have lasting effects even after a person has recovered. A childhood tragedy might lie dormant for many years until triggered by a similar event, person, or reaction. Teenage disasters might cripple the growth of budding adults leaving them perpetually… (more…)

Embracing Grief Is a Healthy Way to Move Forward

by on June 21, 2016

Not everyone grieves in the same way. People have different physical appearances, perspectives, experiences, thoughts, emotions, backgrounds, relationships, and attitudes. So when it comes to grieving, there are many healthy forms with the exception of one: not grieving. Embracing grief is a willingness to accept the fluctuating emotions, random thoughts, internal struggles, constant questions, and… (more…)

11 Ways Narcissists Use Shame to Control

by on May 24, 2016

A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others. This method of casting shame allows them to feel superior while minimizing any impact the other person might… (more…)

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