One minute everything seems fine, even happy, and then in an instant things turn. The joyful mood is quickly replaced by hurt, dramatic expression, and anger over what appears to be a small matter. After that, things escalate rapidly as accusations fly, feelings intensify, threats heighten, and absolutes accelerate. For those experiencing this for the… (more…)
A client walked into my office for the first time and began to describe her husband as a narcissist. They had been married for 15 years, had two children, were well-established in the community, and were both very career-oriented. She came across an article about narcissism and concluded that her husband fit the profile. Not… (more…)
It’s shocking. After 25 years of marriage, a couple decides to get a divorce. From the outside looking in, things could not be any stranger. The pressures of establishing a career have subsided, the kids have grown up (and hopefully moved out), and the desired lifestyle has been obtained. After all, surely this couple has… (more…)
Despite what a narcissist will pontificate, even they are subject to the effects of getting older. Becoming elderly is a normal part of the developmental stage of life for most people, but not for the narcissistic. They view aging as an ultimate evil. Some will engage in ridiculous plastic surgery in an effort to look… (more…)
Try to point out a narcissist’s mistakes and the attack is likely to be returned with force. Expect a narcissist to show understanding during a difficult time and the conversation will quickly be turned back towards the narcissist. Ask a narcissist to forgive an error in judgement and a detailed accounting of all blunders will… (more…)
It’s easy to identify bullying, intimidation, physical restraint, or molestation as abusive. But what about other, more subtle forms of abuse that seem on the surface to be kind and generous, they are not. Think of it as a mask of deception used to control, manipulate, and eventually abuse. To the outside world, the mask… (more…)
The angry outburst of a narcissist is like a two-year-old temper tantrum. It appears out of nowhere, creates an unnecessary scene, and shocks others into inaction. It is the ultimate in selfish behavior as everything immediately becomes about them and what they want. Just like a child, a narcissist cannot tell the difference between what… (more…)
How much different would life be if that exhausting person wasn’t a constant source of frustration? Whether the person is a family member, colleague, neighbor, or friend, just being around them can spark anxiety over the pending apprehension. Exhaustion can come from being too needy, controlling, manipulative, demanding, passive-aggressive, selfish, entitled, clingy, argumentative, restrictive, secretive,… (more…)
One of the most difficult therapeutic processes is confronting the forgotten oaths/promises/resolutions a person has unconsciously internalized which continue to cause harm. Oaths are made to never forget the pain of a broken heart. Promises are forged of not turning into a dysfunctional parent. Resolutions are created out of childhood trauma. Then ironically, as if… (more…)
Ideally, a child is given the freedom to explore and express their individuality so they can develop into a confident and well-balanced adult. This nurturing environment prioritizes the needs of the child over the parent without overindulgence. But this is not the case when one parent is a narcissist. Most children are unaware of their… (more…)
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