Have your clients experienced a time when their narcissistic spouse lost control and became scary angry? Did they cause physical pain? Do your clients feel that somehow they provoked it? Narcissistic spouses will blame others for their abusive behavior. “You made me upset,” “If you won’t say this (or act that way), then I won’t… (more…)
Are your clients struggling with difficult people in their lives? As a clinician, there is a huge temptation to diagnose the difficult person and then dismiss them as unhealthy. But sometimes it is not easy to separate because they may be a spouse, parent, employer, or neighbor. Developing boundaries with your client is the best… (more…)
Sometimes the charm of a narcissist inhibits your client from seeing the narcissism. When your client first met their spouse, there was something about them that was enticing. It seemed like an irresistible pull to someone who so perfectly matched their needs and wants. However, the fairy tale engagement and marriage came to an abrupt… (more…)
The cycle of abuse Lenore Walker (1979) coined tension building, acting-out, reconciliation/honeymoon, and calm is useful in most abusive relationships. However, when a narcissist is an abuser, the cycle looks different. Narcissism changes the back end of the cycle because the narcissist is constantly self-centered and unwilling to admit fault. Their need to be superior,… (more…)
The cycle of abuse by a narcissist is frustrating. It begins with an upsetting event. The narcissist, feeling threatened, then reacts abusively. Tired of the assault, the abused defensively fights back. The narcissist justifies the abused behavior as further evidence that the narcissist is being abused. Once the abused have given in or up, the… (more…)
For many clients, the physical manifestation of exhaustion is a symptom of deeper psychological issues. They may report feeling tired, overwhelmed, anxious, or even depressed. On the surface, they may have too many activities, feel responsible for others, reject setting boundaries, strive to look perfect or be driven to excel. While all of these things… (more…)
Has sex become something your clients just do rather than enjoy? Do they feel pressured into having sex? Is it possible to be sexually abused in a marital relationship? Sexual abuse can happen to both men and women in and out of a marital relationship. In a relationship with a narcissist, however, that abuse becomes magnified…. (more…)
Ginger wept when another woman said, “These are the happiest times of your life.” She desperately wanted to feel that way but as a new mother who worked a full-time job, joy escaped her. There was little she could do about her financial situation, she had to work. But she longed for the moments when… (more…)
Narcissistic verbal abuse is powerful. A talented narcissist can wear down your client and then spin them around so fast before they realize what has happened. Somehow, the narcissist has convinced them that what is up is really down and the verbal assaults are actually your client’s fault. For this reason, verbal abuse is a… (more…)
Too often, narcissism is portrayed as an overly aggressive male disorder. It is not. Females can be narcissistic as well although it might look a bit different from males. Meryl Streep in her role as Miranda Priestly in “The Devil Wears Prada” did an excellent job portraying a narcissistic female boss. Michelle Pfieffer did as… (more…)
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