At 45 years old, Brian did not know who he was or what he wanted. From the outside looking in, he seemed to have it all: money, family, career, and friends. But in reality, life was very different. He managed to have a successful career at a job he did not like. His 20-year abusive… (more…)
As soon as Tracey could get away, she ran. It took nearly all night to find the right moment when her date had finally fallen sufficiently asleep that she could remove his arm off her body. She silently grabbed her clothes from around the room, putting on enough items to leave the apartment. Carefully, she… (more…)
A few days ago, I received a desperate phone call from my dear friend, Angie. Her narcissistic ex-husband texted life-threatening messages to her new husband. This wasn’t the first time she or he had been threatened, however this time the intimidation tactic was specific, graphic, and within the realm of possibility. The police were notified… (more…)
Click on title to listen, then play. https://understanding-todays-narcissist.sounder.fm/episode/e02-narcissistic-cycle-of-abuse To get your copy of the book, Abuse Exposed, click here.
Beneath all of that bravado and charm lies a hidden secret the narcissist doesn’t want you to find. They will do anything to protect their secret from you. They might lie about it. Or they might divert your attention with an innovative story. Or they might project their secret onto you. Come close to figuring… (more…)
At 72 years old, Susan came into therapy for the first time at the insistence of her daughter. For nearly a decade, Susan’s son had been living with her and living off her limited social security income. Her son was capable of getting a job but had difficulty maintaining employment. After a visit to Susan’s… (more…)
Are your clients consumed with negative thoughts about their looks? How much of their time is spent obsessing over body image? We live in a culture fixated on outward appearances. This body image obsession breeds discontentment and discontentment, in turn, causes money to be spent. Advertisements, TV, social media, magazines, and the internet bombard with… (more…)
Have your clients experienced a time when their narcissistic spouse lost control and became scary angry? Did they cause physical pain? Do your clients feel that somehow they provoked it? Narcissistic spouses will blame others for their abusive behavior. “You made me upset,” “If you won’t say this (or act that way), then I won’t… (more…)
Sometimes the charm of a narcissist inhibits your client from seeing the narcissism. When your client first met their spouse, there was something about them that was enticing. It seemed like an irresistible pull to someone who so perfectly matched their needs and wants. However, the fairy tale engagement and marriage came to an abrupt… (more…)
The cycle of abuse Lenore Walker (1979) coined tension building, acting-out, reconciliation/honeymoon, and calm is useful in most abusive relationships. However, when a narcissist is an abuser, the cycle looks different. Narcissism changes the back end of the cycle because the narcissist is constantly self-centered and unwilling to admit fault. Their need to be superior,… (more…)
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