Remember when then President Bill Clinton defended his improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky by saying, “it depends on what your definition of ‘is’ is”? That classic line sounds almost ridiculous as there is only one meaning to the word is. It stands to reason that other simple words such as ‘yes’ and ‘no’ would likewise… (more…)
Monica came into her counseling session crying. The position at work that she worked so hard to obtain was now in jeopardy. She couldn’t understand how this happened so quickly. One day she seemed to be everyone’s favorite new employee and the next day she was an outcast. But as she began to recount her… (more…)
It had been years since Stephanie heard from her ex-husband. He would send the occasional random text messages with some type of mime or joke, but nothing of substance until today. Today’s remarks came across as brash and accusatory. Hidden between the lines of communication was a demand for a face-to-face meeting and a threat… (more…)
Shortly after their marriage, Jack became aware of the narcissism in his wife. At first, he thought it was immaturity but after their child was born, things escalated. Unable to fully attach to their child, she became more demanding and self-absorbed. There were times when life seemed to be a series of competitions over who… (more…)
It was love at first sight when Alice first met her partner. They seemed so perfect for each other, falling instantly and intensely in love. Now only three years later, she was dazed, confused, frustrated, anxious, and severely depressed by the relationship. What was so ideal before was now a nightmare. How did this happen?… (more…)
Certain professionals such as attorneys, surgeons, and pilots are highly valued for their persistence, myopic focus, and single-minded determination. These traits enable a person to be very successful in environments that not only encourage but reinforce this behavior. After all, no one wants a surgeon who is easily distracted while performing open-heart surgery. But when… (more…)
It wasn’t until college that Susan realized the level of dysfunction in her family. There were signs earlier in her life but the pieces were never put together until she stumbled on the word narcissism. Then, it was as if a dense fog was lifted and everything became clearer. Everything the family did catered around… (more…)
Some abuse is obvious: a punch to the face, name-calling, guilt-tripping, physical isolation, and neglect. But others are done in a more calculated, secretive manner. Yet, they can be just as damaging. Even more significant is when the abuse is conducted within a coordinated group setting. This causes the target to feel like it is… (more…)
It took several committee meetings for Jill to put together a thorough proposal for the management of a new department. She did the work under the presumption that her narcissistic boss would be open to suggestions and recommendations from the committee. But even given that liberty, Jill carefully still sought out opinions from those outside… (more…)
Last week, a father sent an email to me about his teenage daughter. After reading the characteristics of narcissism, he was concerned that she had a narcissistic personality disorder. She would appear to others to be the ideal teenager but at home she acted entitled, superior, and refused to apologize or express any empathy. With… (more…)
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